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Doug Brown Random Notes:
1/14/13 - What's with all the "I hate my mom, my mom
is such a this or that" posts on Facebook? To see
these posts in a news feed saddens me. A few years ago I
was having a skate session with my friends and I heard a
disturbance at the far end of the skatepark. A crowd
began to circle around a shaken father and his teenage
daughter. She was yelling and cursing at the top of her
lungs being completely irrational. I took a leap of faith
and walked into the middle of her rant. I began by
telling her someday she will regret yelling at her father
like this. I told her how my mother passed away when I
was her age and I live in regret for a lot of the things
I said to her. I asked the girl, "Who paid for the
water for your shower today? Who paid for your breakfast
this morning? Who bought your shoes?" Her silent
reply to my questions were apparent on her stunned face.
I backed away and her tone towards her father completely
changed and their rant became a discussion appearing to
end in resolve. My intervention took courage, right or
wrong I was glad I did it. I've been there. We tend to
hurt the ones we love the most sometimes. When I was a
teen I would lash out to my mom, I see it now that it was
a hug in disguise. We were so alike and stubborn in our
ways. My parents put me through a lot, boot camps,
private schools, institutions, and more. As an adult I
don't hate them for putting me through that. Whether it
was right or wrong it has made me who I am today.
Adversity makes strong people. So to the kids posting how
much they hate their parents I ask you to question your
intentions. Remember what they've done for you and given
you, not what they haven't done or haven't given you.
Respect your parents and others.
11/20/12 - Just received an email from a mother thanking
me for inspiring her son. Stories like this are the real
paycheck in the back account of pride and purpose.
("Your posts are so inspirational to my son! He says
" wow, Doug brown does more than skate. He goes and
visits sick kids in the hospital and brightens their day!
I think that's pretty cool mom!" I said "
That's awesome, there should be more people like him in
this world and it would be a much better place" he
says "ima become famous and be like Doug Brown and
travel to hospitals to visit just to see kids."
Thanks for instilling a positive side in him and not even
knowing it! Thought I'd share to brighten your day.)
10/24/12 - Last night's event had a spark. What great
energy and an enthusiastic audience. My highschool
counselor Cherlyl Welch was there in attendance. I
haven't seen her since I graduated 20 years ago. She was
instrumental in helping me throughout my highschool
years, was a thrill to see her. I went to bed last night
with a feeling of satisfaction from the event. I had a
feeling of "I'm doing this, I'm out there reaching
people and making a difference in people's lives."
All the schools and libraries I've been speaking to this
fall, it's been unreal. The emails, the feedback from
parents, the look in the kids eyes when I can tell I've
reached them. I still continue to skate everyday and do
skate events but the power that microphone has in my
hands far outweighs anything I can do on a skateboard. It
was a joyous evening, many thanks to everyone that came
to the event.
11/26/12 - I don't have a big house. I don't have a lot
of money. I don't have a fancy car. I chose a path of
uncertainty and gamble. I've grabbed opportunities and
chance which led me to a plethora of memories and moments
that will last a lifetime. If you are chasing a dream
with fame and wealth as your destination of happiness you
may find yourself in a pool of unfulfillment. Our
primordial desire is to eat, to survive, and to continue.
I've seen money change people. How much does one need to
fill a void or create a mountain of possessions? In our
pursuit of happiness we should measure our success on
what we do, not what we have or accumulate. When I was 14
my parents sent me to a survival boot camp in Billings
Montana for three weeks. A ten person group with days
upon days of hiking with fifty found backpacks and
sunflower seeds for food. A three day solo expedition
with no food alone in the mountains among the wolves and
rattles snakes. That experience started my mental flight
towards knowing what really matters in life. People
matter, friends matter, family matters, and the little
things do matter. When you have less the little things
seem more. We won't be here forever folks. Spend your
days wisely and focus on the here and now and what really
matters.
A True Hero.
A friend of mine recommended I check out the documentary
Murderball. It is a film about paraplegics who play
full-contact rugby in wheelchairs. The USA team overcomes
unimaginable obstacles to compete in the Paralympic Games
in Athens, Greece. Staring in the Academy Award nominated
documentary is Mark Zupan. After watching the documentary
I was moved and educated on paraplegics. The mental
strength of these men and the stories they shared were
inspiring.
Little did I know that in the next two weeks I would
receive a call from my agent. She told me there was a
sixteen year old in the intensive care unit at Akron
Children's Hospital in Ohio that I was to visit, Michael
Cantu. Both Michael and his classmate were big fans of
mine. His friend was aware of my work with Athletes for
Hope. He contacted my agent and my agent contacted the
Cantu family. Thus the connection was made to visit
Michael immediately. Upon talking to his father, it was
established the visit would be a surprise. I would be
seeing him on the one week anniversary of his accident.
Michael sustained a very serious neck injury on the
evening of August 22nd, 2011 at a gymnastics training
facility. He broke four vertebrae in his neck and had
significant spinal cord damage. He had some movement in
both his left and right arms and even felt a little
pressure in one of his legs but that was it. Till this
point Michael had an average of twenty visitors a day to
visit him. Michael had a lust for life. He was very
active with sports and a social life that flourished with
friends.
Arriving at the hospital I made my way through the
winding halls to the intensive care unit. I was looking
pro skater like with my shiny new skateboard in hand. I
approached the nurse behind the busy desk and began to
tell her who I was. Before I could get my last name out
she smiled and said, “You must be the skateboarder.
Hold on, I will call down Michael's father.” I see
Mr. Cantu in a black jump suit making his way down the
hall. In a whisper fashion, he tells me how excited
Michael will be. His fists are clamped and he has a
kinetic energy about him. In a giddy manner he jumps up
and down. Right away I know this will be something
special and his father may be more excited about this
than he will be. Both parents have been his cheerleader
every second of this long frazzled week. His father has
been by his side since the arrival that fateful night.
Mr. Cantu is the dad of all dads. He is an author and
accomplished musician. Creativity is part of his being
and no doubt bleeds through his ability to be a father.
As we continue to walk towards his room the dialog of
excitement builds. “Thank you for coming I can't
thank you enough for doing this!” still in the
whisper fashion of excitement.
Taking a sharp left, I enter the room to where Michael's
eyes are wide as can be saying “Oh wow. Man, dude,
thanks for coming, wow, oh man.” Instant good vibes
from Michael. You know when you first meet someone and
they have that quality of instant friendship? That's how
I felt with him. No dead air, no awkward silence. We got
all the obvious necessities of the conversation out of
the way. He gave me the go ahead to talk about how he
landed in this position and what the status was.
Mentally, Michael was doing amazing. He had a great
attitude and positive outlook. As he told one of the
physicians "I got myself into this mess and I need
to get myself out of it." His positive attitude has
been an inspiration to everyone. I laid it on pretty
thick about how the power of his mind will save him
indeed. We talked for well over an hour about the power
of hope and the foundation of positive thinking. He
didn't miss a beat. He was in the moment.
A week ago, he was able to run across the room or pick up
a pencil. This day, his mind was the sole power of where
he was going to go. It's a true test of human being. Mid
way through the visit, a nurse came in to check on
things. Face to face nearly touching noses with Michael
the nurse asks if he needs anything. After she leaves, I
say “Does the killing you with kindness overkill
drive you crazy?” He replies with relief “Yes!
You have no idea! Yes.” Continuing talking with him
Mr. Cantu interrupts our dialog “This guy gets it
(referring to me) he just gets it.” I reply “I
try. We can never know what it's like to be in Michael's
position, but we can try to understand.” It's easier
to empathize with someone that has a broken foot or a
splitting headache. This was on a level that no one could
imagine unless they've experienced it first hand. He even
spoke of the cute nurses that would come to his aid if he
needed a drink of water or the change of a TV channel.
The wheels were already turning quickly with Michael and
his father. Mr. Cantu was busy doing research on his
phone and laptop finding high tech ways for quadriplegics
to use computers and function in this world.
I brought my normal supplies of freebies, including
posters, but I figured the audio version of my book
containing three CDS would be a good match for
entertainment for him. Both father and son were pleased.
In addition, I brought the DVD documentary of Murderball.
I knew Micheal would connect with the star of the film
Mark Zupan. Both athletes were aggressive men with their
eye on the ball. In this case Michael's eye is on his
future and to tackle what we take for granted. Our lives
can change in the blink of an eye. After signing a couple
of his posters and taking some photos it was time to
leave. This visit lasted longer than my usual hospital
visits. We were fluent in Star Wars, music and pop
culture conversation. Mr. Cantu is in a band. Their house
has the drum set and all the toys it takes for a good jam
session. I assured them both that there will be a reunion
soon, along with a jam session on guitars. The maturity,
strength, and optimism Michael had was truly remarkable.
There was a reciprocal understanding in our conversations
that no matter what happens in the future this isn't the
end. His life can take many different directions, but his
state of mind and amazing resources will be key in his
journey.
The father's love for his son was something to see. He is
surrounded by many friends and a family that loves him.
For me, all I could give were my words of encouragement
and support along with bringing a smile into the room. I
had entered the room as the pro skater guy and left being
a friend to him and his father. I left with a sense of
fulfillment and pride to see that already a week into
this tragic dilemma they were going in full force with
optimism being center stage.
Through lots of physical therapy, Michael went to the
Metro Health Spinal Cord Injury Rehabilitation Center.
Over time he has become able to use his knuckles to
change songs on his music player. He has become a hero to
many throughout his school and community. Local media has
been helping the family's efforts to raise money. Friends
of the Cantus' and Michael's classmates have hosted fund
raisers along with selling tee shirts and wristbands to
help with expenses. After spending one hundred and fifty
seven days in a hospital/skilled nursing facility,
Michael finally made it home sweet home. He is back in
school, with his new chair.
Michael's story is far from over. I told him he was like
a brand new car with a strong battery. His mind is the
computer of his system that is beyond remarkable. The
mind is capable of miraculous achievement. We are all on
that road with our minds behind the wheel taking us to
our survival and happiness.
The
Bully
Recently I received a concerning email from a young man.
I had seen him a couple times at the same indoor
skatepark in my home state. It was obvious he had his own
style and we always talked about being original with our
skateboarding. His email started with, "I'm thinking
of quitting skateboarding." He was being bullied and
other skaters were poking fun of his tricks and were
discouraging him from skating the way he wanted to. The
depression underneath the paragraph was apparent. To me
this wasn't just about skateboarding. Although it sickens
me that something representing freedom and creativity has
a population of people conforming and not accepting
diversity in people. When I got into skating at the age
of twelve it was to be an individual, to be part of
something that had no rules or creative limitations.
Being a big advocate of keeping skateboarding creative I
encouraged him to never stop and to focus on what skating
does for him personally. We should never change ourselves
because someone or a group wants us to conform to their
narrow definition of what cool is. As compassionate human
beings we have a responsibility to accept and understand
our differences. Innovation should be celebrated in any
art form and not discouraged. A bullier or hater doesn't
understand empathy and there's something within
themselves causing them to be insecure and ignorant.
Stand strong and be free to be yourself. It's a big world
out there, so get out there and skate it... not hate it.
Skating Straight
I'm not a policeman walking into a classroom
telling kids to just say no. I'm a skateboarder who is
living a dream because I chose to stay clear of drugs and
alcohol. I have no problems preaching this message even
with the backlash it can entail. I've seen people throw
their life away because of substance abuse and it's no
laughing matter. While home from touring a couple years
ago I met up with a skater friend of mine from back in
the day. He wanted to bring along a friend of his they
called "drunk Tim." I thought this should be
interesting. So we picked him up at his ex-girlfriends
run down apartment. He entered the car and completely
reeked of beer. With missing teeth he was showing us
pictures of his son that he lost custody of. I had
figured he was in his mid forties but soon found out we
were the same age. All I could think is that this could
of been me had I chose to turn to drugs and alcohol. We
went to a nearby ramp and skated for a few. He was
falling and stumbling about while people laughed and
cheered him on. I didn't find the humor in what was
taking place. I actually felt sad and unstoked to skate
around him. The overwhelming feeling of keeping on the
right path in life consumed me. Yeah, it might seem funny
when someone is being a clown but it's what's underneath
the surface of the activity that isn't so funny. I've
carried this memory with me in my travels. I've been to
events where I've been offered to do things and have
always stood firm and confident in my beliefs. I get
emails daily from kids asking about getting sponsored.
Companies want someone that will show up on time and that
is reliable. There is a very serious side to this
subject. Getting involved in drugs is a dead end path,
period. When I get down or depressed I jump on my board
and moments later I'm in a different place, a healthy
place. Find your natural highs in life. They're
everywhere.
A Life Cut Short
A few weekends back I attended a skate
memorial for the professional rollerblader James Short.
James life at the age of only 24 was ripped away from him
as a result of being hit by a drunk driver. A woman in
her late forties struck James on his motorcycle and she
survived. She was drunk and had marijuana in her
possession. This hit home because I frequently saw James
in my travels. We always talked skatelife. Him and I have
been to a lot of the same parks. It was our joy for our
sport and the fact that we both skated as a profession
that shared our bond. What made James stand out was his
thirst for the sport and his overwhelmingly positive
attitude. I was a skateboarder and he was a rollerblader
but it never failed, every single time we saw each other
he greeted me with a smile and a hand shake and some good
conversation. Never any attitude or ego. To his fans and
the people who knew him well he has left an impression
about being positive and was a friend to all. You would
see James on the top of a ramp talking with bikers,
bladers, and skateboarders. James life was cut short all
from that woman drinking and driving. Don't drink and
drive, ever.
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Whether you are a
teacher, student, or a construction
worker we all have resources of outreach
and help. The hardest part in seeking
help is that initial first step. It can
take courage to face a problem but the
worst thing you can do is ignore it.
Whether you are depressed, have a
drinking problem, being bullied at
school, or what ever your dilemma is it's
important you talk to someone. Your most
reliable sources will be people like your
parents, school counselors, teachers, or
relatives. If you are in need of
professional help going to a therapist,
rehab, or a specialty institution can
having lasting positive effects. 
