The Mad Mooner - Michael D. Schafer

Roses are red, violets are blue. Author Micheal D. Schafer, has a book just for you. He is a poet, and sure knows it. He will moon you without britches, while his poetry will leave you in stitches. From page-to-page and funny for any age, he's a stand up comedian, up on the stage. The punmanship of Mr. Schafer is quite the earthquaker. Getting to the point, his book won't disappoint. So check out this book, like a worm baiting a hook.

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The Mad Mooner

By Michael D. Schafer - Category (POETRY, HUMOR)

From the hilarious Public Service Announcement warning about The Mad Mooner, to the undersea concerts of King Crab and The Sand Castles, the creative genius and magic of Michael D. Schafer are on display throughout the pages of this book. Get A Case of the Homonyms, or find out What's Up. Witness Love in the Grocery Store or have a front row seat for The Supermarket Grand Prix. Meet Ice Chip and Dee Icer in a winter time love story or visit the unique town of Palindrome City. A lifelong resident of Wooster, Ohio, Mr. Schafer loves to do standup comedy and entertain people with his quirky brand of humor. As you flip through the pages of this book, you'll be amazed by the word play and poetic punmanship of Mr. Schafer. His adult oriented poems, as well as his poems for the inner child in all of us are creative, humorous, and always entertaining. They're guaranteed to put a smile on your face and leave you laughing out loud.

List Price: ~~$19.99~~ Price: $11.99
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SCARED

I’ve got monsters in my closet,
And monsters under my bed.
They all have green hair,
Streaked with purple and red.

Those monsters tried to frighten me.
They grunted and they growled.
They showed their dripping fangs,
As they shrieked and they howled.

Those monsters tried to frighten me,
But I wasn’t scared.
I had seen my granny naked,
And nothing else compared.

I had seen my granny naked,
And lived to tell the tale.
I told the monsters why I wasn’t scared,
And the story left them pale.

The monsters understood me,
And why I wouldn’t scare.
Because, there’s nothing quite as scary,
As seeing my granny bare.

I’ve still got monsters in my bedroom,
But as friends invited in.
And as for me, I hope I never see,
My granny naked again.

Michael D. Schafer
© January 2, 2013

THE MAD MOONER
(A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT)

Citizens heed this warning,
The MAD MOONER is on the loose.
Quick as a wink, his pants are down,
And he shows you his caboose.

The MAD MOONER is out there,
Filling people with dread and fright.
He’s got lots of junk in his trunk,
And it’s not a pretty sight.

No one knows who he is,
Or who his next victim will be.
Every day he drops his drawers
And goes on a mooning spree

He’s made old women faint,
And children cry.
Seven men went blind,
And that’s no lie.

The police scratch their bottoms,
Trying to find this mooning maniac.
They’ve searched every derriere.
They’ve examined every crack.

They get behind every clue,
Looking for this backside malcontent.
They even brought in the butt hounds,
Hoping to pick up his scent.

So beware of the MAD MOONER,
Look away if his end is in sight.
Lock your windows and your doors,
There’s a full moon out tonight.

Michael D. Schafer
© September 10, 2014

"Tickles the funny bone"

"I've been following Michael Shafer's poetry for several years and find that he has a knack for rhyming bar none and a sense of humor that not only strikes home but is extremely creative and wonderful to read. I think that this book, strategically placed appropriately in the restroom for guests, or on the coffee table in the living room with a sticker stating "adults only" so that all the kiddies will be sure to sneak a peek, will be a big hit in the household of anyone. If you like to buy a worthwhile book for your buddy for Christmas, Michael's book of funny poetry will certainly fill the bill… And with less calories than a fruitcake."

"I just got my copy of the book on "Poetry" from Michael Schafer.
After reading about half of it, I can now say that I was entertained on just about every page. Some of this poetry is silly, some of it is a little bawdy...but all of it is a fun read."

"This is a book full of fun little stories that happen to rhyme.... that you read aloud to a group of friends."

"This book will lift your spirits. So many well thought out poems with a powerful meaning and some that will make you laugh your socks off."