-Outreach
/ Help
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 If you've read the About section of this
website you know the motivation and
purpose behind my intentions with my
program. This isn't about me and my
skateboarding. It's about you, about
us... everyone. We can all make an impact
and a difference in one way shape or
form. Whether we are talking about drug
and alcohol abuse, stress,
depression, and all of life's ups
and downs. These messages of hope and
optimism are universal. There is
something contagious about positive
change and it takes every single one of
us to make that happen. These submitted
stories are to remind us that we aren't
alone in our struggles in life no matter
how bad they seem.
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If
you would like to share your
story send to hilarycalisports@yahoo.com All names
and locations are changed to
protect your identity. |
Random
Notes
1/14/13 - What's with all the "I
hate my mom, my mom is such a this or
that" posts on Facebook? To see
these posts in a news feed saddens me. A
few years ago I was having a skate
session with my friends and I heard a
disturbance at the far end of the
skatepark. A crowd began to circle around
a shaken father and his teenage daughter.
She was yelling and cursing at the top of
her lungs being completely irrational. I
took a leap of faith and walked into the
middle of her rant. I began by telling
her someday she will regret yelling at
her father like this. I told her how my
mother passed away when I was her age and
I live in regret for a lot of the things
I said to her. I asked the girl,
"Who paid for the water for your
shower today? Who paid for your breakfast
this morning? Who bought your
shoes?" Her silent reply to my
questions were apparent on her stunned
face. I backed away and her tone towards
her father completely changed and their
rant became a discussion appearing to end
in resolve. My intervention took courage,
right or wrong I was glad I did it. I've
been there. We tend to hurt the ones we
love the most sometimes. When I was a
teen I would lash out to my mom, I see it
now that it was a hug in disguise. We
were so alike and stubborn in our ways.
My parents put me through a lot, boot
camps, private schools, institutions, and
more. As an adult I don't hate them for
putting me through that. Whether it was
right or wrong it has made me who I am
today. Adversity makes strong people. So
to the kids posting how much they hate
their parents I ask you to question your
intentions. Remember what they've done
for you and given you, not what they
haven't done or haven't given you.
Respect your parents and others.
11/20/12 - Just received an email from a
mother thanking me for inspiring her son.
Stories like this are the real paycheck
in the back account of pride and purpose.
("Your posts are so inspirational to
my son! He says " wow, Doug brown
does more than skate. He goes and visits
sick kids in the hospital and brightens
their day! I think that's pretty cool
mom!" I said " That's awesome,
there should be more people like him in
this world and it would be a much better
place" he says "ima become
famous and be like Doug Brown and travel
to hospitals to visit just to see
kids." Thanks for instilling a
positive side in him and not even knowing
it! Thought I'd share to brighten your
day.)
10/24/12 - Last night's event had a
spark. What great energy and an
enthusiastic audience. My highschool
counselor Cherlyl Welch was there in
attendance. I haven't seen her since I
graduated 20 years ago. She was
instrumental in helping me throughout my
highschool years, was a thrill to see
her. I went to bed last night with a
feeling of satisfaction from the event. I
had a feeling of "I'm doing this,
I'm out there reaching people and making
a difference in people's lives." All
the schools and libraries I've been
speaking to this fall, it's been unreal.
The emails, the feedback from parents,
the look in the kids eyes when I can tell
I've reached them. I still continue to
skate everyday and do skate events but
the power that microphone has in my hands
far outweighs anything I can do on a
skateboard. It was a joyous evening, many
thanks to everyone that came to the
event.
11/26/12 - I don't have a big house. I
don't have a lot of money. I don't have a
fancy car. I chose a path of uncertainty
and gamble. I've grabbed opportunities
and chance which led me to a plethora of
memories and moments that will last a
lifetime. If you are chasing a dream with
fame and wealth as your destination of
happiness you may find yourself in a pool
of unfulfillment. Our primordial desire
is to eat, to survive, and to continue.
I've seen money change people. How much
does one need to fill a void or create a
mountain of possessions? In our pursuit
of happiness we should measure our
success on what we do, not what we have
or accumulate. When I was 14 my parents
sent me to a survival boot camp in
Billings Montana for three weeks. A ten
person group with days upon days of
hiking with fifty found backpacks and
sunflower seeds for food. A three day
solo expedition with no food alone in the
mountains among the wolves and rattles
snakes. That experience started my mental
flight towards knowing what really
matters in life. People matter, friends
matter, family matters, and the little
things do matter. When you have less the
little things seem more. We won't be here
forever folks. Spend your days wisely and
focus on the here and now and what really
matters.
"I grew up watching
Mr.Rogers. He would always say, "I
like you just the way you are." Kids
don't hear that today in our society.
They are raised with fast gadgets and
touch screens. Slow down, talk with one
another, learn from one another."
"There
is nothing worse than a man who verbally
or physically abuses a woman. I think
it's disgusting and repulsive. Women are
incredibly beautiful inside and out. They
belong on that pedestal and should be
treated with respect, dignity, and
honor."
"Everyday should be Sweetest Day.
Get the door for someone, pat a friend on
the back. Tell the people you care about
that they mean something to you. The
little things in life carry the most
weight, they do matter and they add
up."
- Doug Brown
A True
Hero.
A friend of mine recommended I check out
the documentary Murderball. It is a film
about paraplegics who play full-contact
rugby in wheelchairs. The USA team
overcomes unimaginable obstacles to
compete in the Paralympic Games in
Athens, Greece. Staring in the Academy
Award nominated documentary is Mark
Zupan. After watching the documentary I
was moved and educated on paraplegics.
The mental strength of these men and the
stories they shared were inspiring.
Little did I know that in the next two
weeks I would receive a call from my
agent. She told me there was a sixteen
year old in the intensive care unit at
Akron Children's Hospital in Ohio that I
was to visit, Michael Cantu. Both Michael
and his classmate were big fans of mine.
His friend was aware of my work with
Athletes for Hope. He contacted my agent
and my agent contacted the Cantu family.
Thus the connection was made to visit
Michael immediately. Upon talking to his
father, it was established the visit
would be a surprise. I would be seeing
him on the one week anniversary of his
accident. Michael sustained a very
serious neck injury on the evening of
August 22nd, 2011 at a gymnastics
training facility. He broke four
vertebrae in his neck and had significant
spinal cord damage. He had some movement
in both his left and right arms and even
felt a little pressure in one of his legs
but that was it. Till this point Michael
had an average of twenty visitors a day
to visit him. Michael had a lust for
life. He was very active with sports and
a social life that flourished with
friends.
Arriving at the hospital I made my way
through the winding halls to the
intensive care unit. I was looking pro
skater like with my shiny new skateboard
in hand. I approached the nurse behind
the busy desk and began to tell her who I
was. Before I could get my last name out
she smiled and said, “You must be
the skateboarder. Hold on, I will call
down Michael's father.” I see Mr.
Cantu in a black jump suit making his way
down the hall. In a whisper fashion, he
tells me how excited Michael will be. His
fists are clamped and he has a kinetic
energy about him. In a giddy manner he
jumps up and down. Right away I know this
will be something special and his father
may be more excited about this than he
will be. Both parents have been his
cheerleader every second of this long
frazzled week. His father has been by his
side since the arrival that fateful
night. Mr. Cantu is the dad of all dads.
He is an author and accomplished
musician. Creativity is part of his being
and no doubt bleeds through his ability
to be a father. As we continue to walk
towards his room the dialog of excitement
builds. “Thank you for coming I
can't thank you enough for doing
this!” still in the whisper fashion
of excitement.
Taking a sharp left, I enter the room to
where Michael's eyes are wide as can be
saying “Oh wow. Man, dude, thanks
for coming, wow, oh man.” Instant
good vibes from Michael. You know when
you first meet someone and they have that
quality of instant friendship? That's how
I felt with him. No dead air, no awkward
silence. We got all the obvious
necessities of the conversation out of
the way. He gave me the go ahead to talk
about how he landed in this position and
what the status was. Mentally, Michael
was doing amazing. He had a great
attitude and positive outlook. As he told
one of the physicians "I got myself
into this mess and I need to get myself
out of it." His positive attitude
has been an inspiration to everyone. I
laid it on pretty thick about how the
power of his mind will save him indeed.
We talked for well over an hour about the
power of hope and the foundation of
positive thinking. He didn't miss a beat.
He was in the moment.
A week ago, he was able to run across the
room or pick up a pencil. This day, his
mind was the sole power of where he was
going to go. It's a true test of human
being. Mid way through the visit, a nurse
came in to check on things. Face to face
nearly touching noses with Michael the
nurse asks if he needs anything. After
she leaves, I say “Does the killing
you with kindness overkill drive you
crazy?” He replies with relief
“Yes! You have no idea! Yes.”
Continuing talking with him Mr. Cantu
interrupts our dialog “This guy gets
it (referring to me) he just gets
it.” I reply “I try. We can
never know what it's like to be in
Michael's position, but we can try to
understand.” It's easier to
empathize with someone that has a broken
foot or a splitting headache. This was on
a level that no one could imagine unless
they've experienced it first hand. He
even spoke of the cute nurses that would
come to his aid if he needed a drink of
water or the change of a TV channel. The
wheels were already turning quickly with
Michael and his father. Mr. Cantu was
busy doing research on his phone and
laptop finding high tech ways for
quadriplegics to use computers and
function in this world.
I brought my normal supplies of freebies,
including posters, but I figured the
audio version of my book containing three
CDS would be a good match for
entertainment for him. Both father and
son were pleased. In addition, I brought
the DVD documentary of Murderball. I knew
Micheal would connect with the star of
the film Mark Zupan. Both athletes were
aggressive men with their eye on the
ball. In this case Michael's eye is on
his future and to tackle what we take for
granted. Our lives can change in the
blink of an eye. After signing a couple
of his posters and taking some photos it
was time to leave. This visit lasted
longer than my usual hospital visits. We
were fluent in Star Wars, music and pop
culture conversation. Mr. Cantu is in a
band. Their house has the drum set and
all the toys it takes for a good jam
session. I assured them both that there
will be a reunion soon, along with a jam
session on guitars. The maturity,
strength, and optimism Michael had was
truly remarkable. There was a reciprocal
understanding in our conversations that
no matter what happens in the future this
isn't the end. His life can take many
different directions, but his state of
mind and amazing resources will be key in
his journey.
The father's love for his son was
something to see. He is surrounded by
many friends and a family that loves him.
For me, all I could give were my words of
encouragement and support along with
bringing a smile into the room. I had
entered the room as the pro skater guy
and left being a friend to him and his
father. I left with a sense of
fulfillment and pride to see that already
a week into this tragic dilemma they were
going in full force with optimism being
center stage.
Through lots of physical therapy, Michael
went to the Metro Health Spinal Cord
Injury Rehabilitation Center. Over time
he has become able to use his knuckles to
change songs on his music player. He has
become a hero to many throughout his
school and community. Local media has
been helping the family's efforts to
raise money. Friends of the Cantus' and
Michael's classmates have hosted fund
raisers along with selling tee shirts and
wristbands to help with expenses. After
spending one hundred and fifty seven days
in a hospital/skilled nursing facility,
Michael finally made it home sweet home.
He is back in school, with his new chair.
Michael's story is far from over. I told
him he was like a brand new car with a
strong battery. His mind is the computer
of his system that is beyond remarkable.
The mind is capable of miraculous
achievement. We are all on that road with
our minds behind the wheel taking us to
our survival and happiness.
Julie from Ohio
writes:
I
have known my 18 year old step son since
he was 4 years old since then I accepted
him as my own son. I have accepted him
into my home with open arms. We became
very close and talked about his drug use
since he was 14. I felt he understood my
lecture of how much it hurt his family
that he was doing drugs. In February of
2011 he started hanging out with his old
friends again. On Valentines day I went
to pick him up at his Grandmothers only
to find him high and back on drugs. His
father and I decided to confront him and
he denied it. After a big blow out fight
he decided to move in with his
grandmother. He had got himself a really
good job and was bringing in the cash,
life was going good for him and we
thought things were improving.
March 20, 2011 was the worse day of my
life. We got the call that no mother ever
wants to receive... my son had died. He
overdosed on drugs with his 19 year old
cousin both found dead in his
Grandmothers house. To see them bring my
son out in a body bag, to see his
lifeless face was the worse thing I have
ever seen. I will never forget it. My
heart has an emptiness that will never go
away. After burying my 18 year old son
and his cousin you can't help but ask
yourself, "Could I have done
something to prevent this?" One has
to realize they made their own choices
and I couldn't have stopped this. They
will never know the pain this has caused
their families and friends. He left his
17 year old sister without a big brother
who always watched over and protected
her. He left his little 4 year old
brother who looked up to him as if he was
a rock star. All this from simply taking
pills, a senseless death all for reaching
a high or buzz. We have to wake up
knowing he is gone forever because of
this. We will never get to talk to him or
to to see his beautiful smile again. He
was special and had great talents that
would have taken him far. He had no
enemies and was liked by all. The pain of
missing him will never go away. On Monday
June 14th 2011 we finally got the autopsy
report.
DEATH - ACCIDENT - DRUG TOXICITY
- REASON OF DEATH - UNINTENTIONAL
INDIGESTION OF TOXIC DOSE OF PROPOXYPHINE
ALONG WITH XANAX.
This report doesn't bring any closure to
my heart knowing it was all accidental. I
know he didn't want to die but that
doesn't take the hurt away. This was
preventable! Speaking out and letting
people know drugs can kill you is an
important message. We only have one life
to live and by being drug free we can
live it to the fullest.
Julie
Age 35, Ohio
Zach from Detroit Michigan writes:
"Back in
February of 2009, I thought my life was
going great, I knew my dad drank but he
wasn't out to get wasted every night or
anything like that. It was just something
he did at night after work. Well due to
the economy being in really bad shape, he
started to lose business. My dad is a
contractor with a store and does
carpentry work and such. Well he started
to drink more and more every night. Well
over time this build up and he was rushed
to the hospital and spent 10 days in
there. Since alcohol slows the process of
digestion, everything backed up and the
acid in his stomach tried to digest his
pancreas. He almost died. He was in
severe pain for 10 days, many IVs and
shots to his stomach. I was extremely
worried about him. I could have lost my
dad. The skin or layer that protects his
pancreas was totally destroyed. Even
after he was released from the hospital
he was in much pain for 1-2 months. This
was the most frightening 10 days of my
life. During this time my step mom would
come home every night and just get wasted
to try to ease the worry that my dad
could die. My little brother is 11 and he
would ask me why his mom had to come home
and drink every night and get drunk. Ill
never drink because of these two reasons.
Drinking has destroyed my step moms life
and almost ended my dads. Be smart. Don't
drink."
Zach
Age 16, Detroit MI
Jennifer from Plano Texas writes:
"This is a
true story of how drugs and alcohol
wrecked a mans life, and his sons, and
then his wife's as well. Ok, it all
started with my then husband going out on
the weekends and returning home with
gifts for me while acting strange. This
went on for a few months and he began
drinking quite heavily. Then openly for
the first time he took drugs in front of
his four year old child. I told him to
quit or he would lose us. He changed into
a monster with a weird look in his eyes.
He basically gave up living in general.
He would attack my son and I just for the
sake of it. He ruined our lives for four
years till one day he got up and left. We
haven't seen him since. We have moved on
and made the most out of the lesson we
learned by this man. My son at age nine
told me, "drugs don't work
mommy." He vowed just last month to
never touch or go near them. Truth be
known he has grown up so fast and is not
my little boy but now my little man. He
is wise at just the age of 12. All this
from seeing his dad make the wrong
choices. And there is no way his father
can make things right because a year ago
today that man died from a drug overdose
in his Florida apartment. A waste of a
life and a waste of a father. So in
conclusion know your limits and don't
touch drugs all they bring is heart break
and they destroy your life. Don't let
your life be a waste. Thank you."
Jennifer Age 33,
Plano TX
Shawn from Cincinnati Ohio writes:
"For starters
I am Shawn, I am 20 years old and i
currently reside in Cincinnati. I figure
I will give you my life story. I have
been through a great deal of things in my
life. It all started when I was about 15
years old. I have never been influenced
by peer pressure, I always have made
decisions on my own with what I wanted to
do in my life. Most of them have turned
out being the wrong choices and it has
stuck me in a rut. Around age 15 I
was drinking heavily everyday, i mean I
would wake up out of bed before going to
school and the first thoughts were,
"How was I going to get messed up
today?" It all started out as fun
with friends and us all having a good
time. Coming from such a small town we
all had the same mind state. We didn't
have anything else to do but drink,
smoke, and skate. Well around age 16 is
when I had my first real run in with the
police. I was driving and was pulled
over, they brought the K-9 unit in and I
was charged with possession of drugs. I
received probation and the terms and
conditions of my probation was that I
have no contact with drugs or alcohol.
Well that only lasted about less than a
week. At age 17 is when I thought I was
at rock bottom. I was sent away to rehab
after being locked away in a detention
center for 3 months. I went to rehab
which was only supposed to be a 4 month
program well I was there for just a
little over 10 months. In rehab I finally
opened my eyes and realized what I was
doing with my life and how bad I was just
throwing it all away. When I came out I
felt like a changed person. I went back
to public school and went on to graduate
high school. After turning 18 that's when
things went really downhill. I have had
about 7 more run ins with the police from
the age 18 until now and I am only 20
years old. Most of my charges are
drinking related. I have had about 4-5
underage drinking charges and 1 DUI .
Honestly I shouldn't be here right now I
have had near fatal run ins with some of
the drugs that I have done. I have came
very close to overdosing a few times, and
I am not proud about any of this. I have
hurt loved ones and I have lost things
that I love in my life due to my
drinking. My life is going good now and
I've learned a lot from my bad choices.
I'm not a angel by any means but I have
toned it down a lot. If you're reading
this and you don't know me then take my
advice and put yourself in my shoes. Take
a minute to think before you actually
carry out what you're going to do because
it may just be one of those nights, wrong
place wrong time and you could either get
locked up or even worse yet die. But
thank you for reading this and for Doug
Brown I congratulate him on what he's
trying to do. It is definitely a movement
and I hope people take awareness to this
and actually take it to heart what people
have to say, thank you, Shawn."
Shawn
Age 20, Cincinnati OH
Rob from Baltimore Maryland writes:
"I was very shy socially, and
drinking would ease that. I was hooked
from the get go. I made a lot of new
friends. I drank and drove many of times.
Nothing bad ever happened. It seems like
it always catches up to you though. I am
now 26 years old, luckily. I have been
arrested twice for DWI. I went through 26
weeks of alcohol classes. Finally my
probation was over, and I felt free
again. Of course, I learned nothing. I
went to a bar with a friend. Had a
million beers. Didn't think twice about
getting in his car to go home. Later that
morning, I woke up with a broken femur, a
broken eye socket. I had no feeling in
the left side of my face. Later I learned
that the feeling would not come back. The
dashboard had gone right through my leg,
pinning me until the paramedics arrived.
I also woke up to find that 12 feet of
rope had been placed in my nose, because
my sinus cavity was crushed. My jaw was
also sutured shut.Basically, I was
drinking one moment and the next I was
laying in bed not being able to see, not
able to breath. My mouth was shut, and my
sinus cavity was broken so was breathing
out of one nostril. Couldn’t move
because I had a major break in my leg.
How one moment can change your life is
amazing. This was two years ago. I’m
still going to physical therapy. Oh how I
wish I could take that day back. Oh, all
my drinking buddies? They’re all
gone now. I was the one at the parties
trying to get everyone drunk. Thank God I
never hurt any one else. Well, physically
anyway. Mentally I have done my damage.
Lucky to be here."
Rob
Age 26, Baltimore, MD
The
Bully
Recently I received a concerning email
from a young man. I had seen him a couple
times at the same indoor skatepark in my
home state. It was obvious he had his own
style and we always talked about being
original with our skateboarding. His
email started with, "I'm thinking of
quitting skateboarding." He was
being bullied and other skaters were
poking fun of his tricks and were
discouraging him from skating the way he
wanted to. The depression underneath the
paragraph was apparent. To me this wasn't
just about skateboarding. Although it
sickens me that something representing
freedom and creativity has a population
of people conforming and not accepting
diversity in people. When I got into
skating at the age of twelve it was to be
an individual, to be part of something
that had no rules or creative
limitations. Being a big advocate of
keeping skateboarding creative I
encouraged him to never stop and to focus
on what skating does for him personally.
We should never change ourselves because
someone or a group wants us to conform to
their narrow definition of what cool is.
As compassionate human beings we have a
responsibility to accept and understand
our differences. Innovation should be
celebrated in any art form and not
discouraged. A bullier or hater doesn't
understand empathy and there's something
within themselves causing them to be
insecure and ignorant. Stand strong and
be free to be yourself. It's a big world
out there, so get out there and skate
it... not hate it.
Skating Straight
I'm not a policeman walking
into a classroom telling kids to just say
no. I'm a skateboarder who is living a
dream because I chose to stay clear of
drugs and alcohol. I have no problems
preaching this message even with the
backlash it can entail. I've seen people
throw their life away because of
substance abuse and it's no laughing
matter. While home from touring a couple
years ago I met up with a skater friend
of mine from back in the day. He wanted
to bring along a friend of his they
called "drunk Tim." I thought
this should be interesting. So we picked
him up at his ex-girlfriends run down
apartment. He entered the car and
completely reeked of beer. With missing
teeth he was showing us pictures of his
son that he lost custody of. I had
figured he was in his mid forties but
soon found out we were the same age. All
I could think is that this could of been
me had I chose to turn to drugs and
alcohol. We went to a nearby ramp and
skated for a few. He was falling and
stumbling about while people laughed and
cheered him on. I didn't find the humor
in what was taking place. I actually felt
sad and unstoked to skate around him. The
overwhelming feeling of keeping on the
right path in life consumed me. Yeah, it
might seem funny when someone is being a
clown but it's what's underneath the
surface of the activity that isn't so
funny. I've carried this memory with me
in my travels. I've been to events where
I've been offered to do things and have
always stood firm and confident in my
beliefs. I get emails daily from kids
asking about getting sponsored. Companies
want someone that will show up on time
and that is reliable. There is a very
serious side to this subject. Getting
involved in drugs is a dead end path,
period. When I get down or depressed I
jump on my board and moments later I'm in
a different place, a healthy place. Find
your natural highs in life. They're
everywhere.
A Life Cut Short
A few weekends back I
attended a skate memorial for the
professional rollerblader James Short.
James life at the age of only 24 was
ripped away from him as a result of being
hit by a drunk driver. A woman in her
late forties struck James on his
motorcycle and she survived. She was
drunk and had marijuana in her
possession. This hit home because I
frequently saw James in my travels. We
always talked skatelife. Him and I have
been to a lot of the same parks. It was
our joy for our sport and the fact that
we both skated as a profession that
shared our bond. What made James stand
out was his thirst for the sport and his
overwhelmingly positive attitude. I was a
skateboarder and he was a rollerblader
but it never failed, every single time we
saw each other he greeted me with a smile
and a hand shake and some good
conversation. Never any attitude or ego.
To his fans and the people who knew him
well he has left an impression about
being positive and was a friend to all.
You would see James on the top of a ramp
talking with bikers, bladers, and
skateboarders. James life was cut short
all from that woman drinking and driving.
Don't drink and drive, ever.
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